Yet, here I am, popping up 6 years after my last blog post. So what happened?
Clearly, I didn't die. But I almost did. I almost died, and then I had lots of surgeries from almost dying, and then I had long recovery periods, and more surgeries, and then lingering and sometimes debilitating after-effects. And if that sounds pretty vague, it's because I was out for a lot of it, so I could probably describe my weird pain-drug hallucinations better than the actual details.
But I didn't die! And I feel terribly grateful for that small miracle. My career, however, did die. And then my marriage died. And then I went into a financial tailspin that meant losing my home. And suddenly I, who had grown roots deep enough to feel safe and secure, was upturned and tossed around like a tree in a hurricane.
Don't get me wrong: I don't in any way feel like a victim. In fact, in the last half-decade or so, I've learned more about myself and my beliefs and my talents and my faults than I had in all the many decades before that. But my roots are still not planted well enough to grow deep, or to feel secure. I'm less a mighty oak these days than a tumbleweed looking for a solid place to land.
So that's my story--or at least the highlights (lowlights?). And one of these days, I'll share all the details, and I'll find a rhythm that (I hope) includes regular blogging, because I miss that.
In the meantime, take care and be grateful for the miracles (small or large) in your lives.
And if anyone who used to follow my blog just happens to see this, know that I'm grateful to you for being part of my blogging life. And I'm sorry that I left you hanging for so long.
